Joel Osteen Quotes AND Joel Osteen Jokes ~ Double Combo

Double Combo Cover SBHere is an excerpt from
the Joel Osteen Quotes book
Also included inside the
Joel’s Gems Double Combo Pack

 GRATITUDE

“The seeds of discouragement, cannot take root in a grateful heart”
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“If you’re not happy today… if you’re down or when you’re tempted to get discouraged, the quickest way out of that is to stop focusing on what you don’t have and start thanking God For what you do have.”
****

“When we get up in the morning,
before we read the newspaper,
before we turn on the TV,
before we think about our problems,
the first thing we should do is
thank God that we’re alive.”
****

“You cannot go through the day
negative and depressed
as long as you have a spirit
of thanksgiving in your heart.”
****

Here is an excerpt from
the Joel Osteen Jokes book
Also included inside the
Joel’s Gems Double Combo Pack

LADIES JOEL HEARD ABOUT

I heard about this kindergarten teacher.

She wanted to teach her students about self esteem.
She said to her class
“Everyone who thinks you are dumb, please stand up.”

She didn’t think anybody would stand
and she’d make the point how no one was dumb.

But about that time little Jonny stood up.
She didn’t quite know what to do.

She said
“Now Jonny do you really think that you’re dumb?”

He said “No Maam,
I just hate to see you standing there
All by yourself.”

*****

I heard about this 85 year old woman.
She went on a blind date with a 92 year old man.
She came home very frustrated and her daughter said
“Mom, what’s wrong?”
She said “I had to slap him three times.”
The daughter said “You mean he tried to get fresh?”
She said “No. I thought he was dead.”

*****

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1 thought on “Joel Osteen Quotes AND Joel Osteen Jokes ~ Double Combo

  1. if u r feeling down listen to pastor joel
    if u r feeling good listen to pastor joel and you will feel the greatest,
    thank u so much you r really an inspiration and I know god is proud of u……

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