“if we make the mistake of engaging in every battle that comes along, and we’re constantly defending ourselves, proving our point, straitening somebody out, then we’re not going to have the energy we need to fight the battles that DO matter.”
My wife and I just celebrated out 37th wedding anniversary and I know quite a few other couples that have been married much longer than us. People sometimes ask us what’s your secret? Well if there is a secret, this is probably it!
I’ve heard of people arguing over which end of the toothpaste to squeeze from or which way the toilet paper roll should go on, over the top or under the bottom (I’m not kidding). And I understand how little things like that can be extremely annoying if you let it, but thinking about an issue such as this, how much energy would you want to spend on something so trivial? Even if you win, your partner is going to think less of you (in my opinion). Don’t you have bigger fish to fry? I’m sure you do.
If you do truly feel that these rather small issues need to be addressed, why not try to do it in a way that doesn’t make the other person “feel” that you “think” you are right and they are wrong? I have found that these situations are a great place to use humor. Try to find some way to infuse it without demeaning the other party. I sometimes like to talk with a southern accent or a silly voice as if I were a really stupid person. Just a suggestion that has worked pretty well for someone that’s been happily married for over 37 years, or so my wife tells me. Just kidding! 🙂
And remember… Choose Your Battles Wisely!